puppets snog day 9 Portland or. - vancouver BC canada

I have to say I enjoyed the two nights and a day in Portland . As predicted the chick from last night wont be looking me up any time soon . I tried to avoid the back to my place bit , but she was very persistent . we hit the bed running as soon as I opened the door . Within 5 she had discovered my little problem and was back out the door as soon as you could say "string malfunction " . Didn't even say thank you for the stimulating conversation .

While we are on the subject of woman , I couldn't help but notice that the woman in Portland were not the tight top and short skirt type that i am helplessly attracted to . I did actually see a couple of those types on a corner by the hotel the other night But Jeff warned me the there may be a couple of surprises under those pelmets . No the women here are different all together . There is an incredible commitment to hair. Not the Clairol type commitment , this more about body hair . Call me old fashioned but surly there is nothing wrong with removing one or two hairs when they start appearing from beneath your tee shirt sleeves and winking at complete strangers

The men are no better . the last time I saw beards like these was during the tenth month of the workers strike at the Gillette factory . Its like a Taliban convention . Its useful for identifying the gender of a person if need be, but having said that it is by no means a guarantee .

last and not least Whats with all the drumming ? I ask you when was the last time you felt the need to play an upturned bucket or box all day ? They don't even synchronise . Its just a bloody racket .

I almost forgot this is the last day in the car for me .Big Stephen and I fly to Vegas for a show tomorrow. It used to be all about him now its about both of us . I know I complained about coming on this trip but I think I may have liked it . Even the celebrity status is starting to feel more comfortable . I wont let it go to my head though I promise .
The driving is now over but we still have a night and a show in Vancouver , so I may post a last blog tomorrow .


bugger off puppet Stephen




Sound track of the day . Clash , Pretenders , selecter , Joy division , The Specials , Talking heads

Puppets frog day 8 Sept . 15th . Day in Portland Or.

Great night out . Big Stephens clients 4 women and one man . perfect Even if He, Jeff and the other Guy Tim want one each that leaves a spare . I usually do pretty well in these situations . Obviously I have no competition on the looks and personality front but just as a back up I carry a couple of bits of jewellery in my pocket to tempt them , bit like Michael Jackson does with candy for the kids .

Sure enough got myself a corker . Hardly minging at all when I squinted . After dinner went to a Sinful Sunday burlesque club . Brilliant except I had a restricted view seat . A fat fella sat right in front of me . My new friend described the show to me , not quite the same really .

Had to go to work today with big Stephen At Carl Greves Jewellery store . Everyone wants to meet the puppet. It should be flattering but I feel a bit like the Elephant man paraded around just for titillation purposes . I am a puppet with feelings too you know . The only difference is my feelings are a bit creepy .

Hey Highlight of the day met Tommy Thayer from Kiss . Cool guy and a proper rock star not like big Stephen . Apparently Tommy buys his jewellery
which is really what Stephen does best . He should realize that and stop pretending to be like the real thing .

Another night out with the girls tonight . Its usually the second date is when it all goes pear shaped . I can only keep my little secret a secret for so long .



Bogg off Puppet Stephen


No sound track other than the Muzak in the store

puppets slog day 7 sept 14th . joseph Or . - Portland or.

The biker who recommended we stay the night in the "chic little town" of Joseph rather than the place we were already booked into as "it was much more fun" was either just another sad old git on a bike incapable of telling the difference between studio 54 or a cow shed , or he just had a nasty streak .

The first thing you notice about the " chic town " of Joseph is that the people have such a lack of social skills that they can appear to be rude . The first person we met, I asked if I could buy a packet of fags and she just stared at me . the second ,I asked if they were still serving dinner ( it was 8 pm ) she was still serving but not to us apparently . whats more in a town of 12 she couldn't tell me if any of the other restaurants would be either .

The next and perhaps the most disturbing thing about Joseph is the bronze statue on main st . of a shirtless muscle bound cowboy , complete with stetson, sporting a fine pair of chaps and very little else .

I don't care what the history of this town is , this is all wrong . As wrong as the throngs ( that is throngs ) of chap wearing grey haired Harley riders who populate the roads around here . Its as though the population of Palm Beach decided that all that gated stuff was so yesterday , tied on their bandannas , traded the pastels for a new wardrobe of leather including a pair of crotchless chaps and took to the roads of the north west . Never has the phrase Hells grannies been more appropriate .

I was packed and showered by 6 45 am this morning , having spent the evening with the boys watching reruns of Hogans Hero's .

I need to get to Portland a city where the birth of a baby does not increase the population by 25% .

The sound track today is all mine . watch out for ;Oh bondage up yours , X ray spex and Patti smith .


Sod off

Puppet Stephen





Sound track of the day . Mc5, Stooges , Velvet Underground , Doors , NY dolls , Patti smith , X ray spex , Ramones , The Damned

puppet blog day 6 McCall Idaho - Joseph Hells Canyon Or. Sept 13th

Some bugger slipped me a micky finn last night . After dinner I was sitting at the bar chatting to the bar maid about the many issues I face being a sex addict ( untreated ) but also a puppet who doesn't even have a string attached to my private parts . She was lending me a sympathetic ear having realised I was completely harmless . Then wham it hit me like a truck , I fell off the stool , and required assistance . I can only think it was one of the locals , jealous of my smooth almost slippery charm and superior puling technique .I was left with only one option , to do something I never thought i would have to do ; ask Jeff to take me home early .

Woke this morning with my bandages around my ankles and compete memory loss . I am praying it was only a micky and not one of those date drugs . Jeff is looking like the cat who got the cream this morning . lets get out of town , I need to put all McCall behind me .

Heading for Hells Canyon . Reminds me of an S&M club I used to frequent . In fact it was there while partaking in a bizzar practice involving a blow torch and a harness that I ended up in bandages for the rest of my life . Oh well if you are going to play with fire you are going to get burned .

Of course I should have known better Hells Canyon is a natural phenomenon not not a specialists venue . The road to hell has got more twists than my mind . This way ,that way, no safety barrier and a long way down , even the hula girl mounted in the back window has been car sick .

spending the night in the town of Joseph .I am praying this is not just another biblical experience .

Naff off


Puppet Stephen





Sound track of the day ..The Cult , Iggy Pop , Killing Joke , The Kills , Pixies , Bauhaus , Psychedelic Furs . ( dark sounds for a dark mood )

puppets blog day 5 Sun Vally Idaho- Mc Call Idaho Sept. 12th

Met a woman last night calling herself Marie Helene ,who said she would leave her husband for me ( I think she may have left her glasses at home ) I even managed to get a lap dance out of her , which can be difficult as they usually get caught up in my strings
I can tell you it was a wild night I was still there for breakfast , which was when the guilt set in . Not from her I may add but on my side . Her husband came in and offered me a ride in the mountains on his motor bike which I was right up for . That was until I realised we were going off the beaten track to some old abandoned silver mine way out there . I should have know it , he was going to throw me down a disused mine shaft and leave me for dead . You could see the panic in my eyes . actually I've always got panic in my eyes , that's what comes from living on the edge or it could be the fact that my eyes are glass .
Anyway I wasted no time and tried to jump off but my strings were tangled around the foot pegs .......someone help !!! For God sake someone help !!! I promise to be good from now on .
After all that we just ended up going for a nice ride and returning safely .
I thanked him , made my excuses and left . That's the last time I let a married woman take advantage of me like that, unless the old mans out of the country .
Headed out of town once again at speed , having seen all the wildlife I can take of both kinds .
I asked the big guys if I could travel in the trunk , I needed some sleep , plus they were listening to a book called :Zen and the art of motor cycle maintenance . which just made me think about my horror show of a bike ride that i had endured earlier .
Staying a place called The White tail club on a lake in Mc Call . If they don't allow brown tails I wonder what the policy is towards Puppets ?

Blow off

Puppet Stephen


Sound track of the day : Audio book . Zen and the art of motor cycle maintenance , More white stripes , Eurithmics , The Rotten hill gang . Comunards.